calmed and quieted

Galatians 6:4

2007-06-20T10:57:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've been thinking about verse 4 in Galatians 6 a little bit. It says, "Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else."

There are two ways I have looked at this verse (though I'm sure ther's more). In one sense, we don't want to look at ourselves in pride, thinking that we have more and better gifts than another, more faith, more Spirit, more good works, and a more sincere heart. This leads to arrogance, a critical spirit, rebellion, and rejection of authority, which breaks down rather than builds up the church.

In another sense, we don't want to fall into condemnation or self-pity, looking at others' works and all they have done and comparing it to our own work and finding ourselves falling short. We are not to look to others as our standard or model of behavior, but to Jesus as related to us in the gospels.

God gives each person a measure of faith--these vary among all His children--and bids us to take the faith we have and do the things He has called each of us (specifically) to do. We wait upon Him, receive His instruction, and obey it. Some are called to astonish the nations with miraculous signs and wonders and prophetic proclamations, and some are called to pray and intercede for the lost. One may get more acknowledgement on earth, but the true reward comes in heaven, when we are measured against how well we obeyed God by doing what He told us to do.

The Bible says that the body of Christ has many members, just as a human body does, and each member has its purpose and is necessary for optimal functioning. Just as some parts of the human body are hidden and less "flashy," some of the members of the body of Christ are called to "quieter" ministries that receive no glory here on earth. We cannot compare ourselves to how well we think others are doing...they may do a lot for God, but it may not be what they are called to do. We may be called to do more, and we need to hear God and obey Him.

We cannot doom ourselves as failures just because we don't do what others are doing, but we have to believe in the victory of Jesus and take the power we have within us that is from God and glorify the name of Jesus throughout the world in whatever way we are called and gifted.

The Star at Dawn

2007-06-05T18:02:00.000-07:00

The Star at Dawn

The Morning Star
bright and consuming
blinds my eyes and
burns away the drapes
closed taught across them.
Burn the film that clouds
my vision, which is no
vision but darkness and
night until that Sun of Righteousness
rises and consumes the death
that blinds me in my sleep;
then I awake to morning,
the brightest star outshining the
flecks of light that were so distant.
What once was a faint hope,
an unreachable desire,
has become all that I see
and all that I know
through these eyes transparent as
a window down to my soul.

i'm back...finally

2007-04-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

Here are some recent photos of my two girls...Naomi Simone (who'll be 2 on the 7th) and Mae Juliette, who was born March 5th at 2:30 pm, weighing in at 8lbs. 11oz. (after only a 2 1/2 hour labor!!). They get along well and both bring so much joy and life into our home!

a tender mama & a tough baby

2006-12-16T19:50:00.000-08:00

Today was a tough day on my emotions. This morning, Naomi was watching one of her favorite Baby Einstein videos, dancing around the living room to one of the songs in it. That girl loves to dance joyfully. Anyway, on one particular twirl, she lost her balance and hit her forehead smack on the metal-tipped corner of a trunk sitting on the floor. I saw it happen, and heard it--it was louder than usual, so it concerned me. I jumped up and went to her, and when she looked up at me, there was blood pouring from her forehead, and I saw a gash in it. My heart sunk and I was worried. I tried to hold her and calm her, while praying frantically inside my head. I took her to the kitchen and called my husband, who was right next door. After applying a rag and some pressure to her forehead, she started calming down, but the blood kept coming. Now I was praying frantically aloud. Jake came in and held her while I cleaned her up. There was blood all in her hair, on her face and clothes, on my clothes, and on the the floor.

After cleaning her up, she was a little calmer--and so was I. I asked Jake if she would need stitches, but the bleeding had stopped, so we decided to wait on it. We cleaned her wound and bandaged it, but after a couple of hours, it had bled through two bandages. So we decided to take her in to the hospital.

They quickly saw that she would need stitches, so they told us the procedure. They would numb her wound area with some gel, and then she would be strapped into basically a baby straightjacket while one person stitched her up and another held her head in place while she screamed. "She will probably scream the whole time," they said. Mostly, she did, but we tried to distract her with toys and calming words, and those helped a little. It was tough on me, though, seeing her all strapped in and scared and and sewn up. My heart melted for her, but she was a tough little girl.

As soon as the P.A. finished sewing her and the nurse let her head go, Naomi said tearfully, "All Done!" Yes, we were all done, and she got a sucker and stickers for her bravery. Afterwards, she was completely fine, as if nothing had happened. But still, when I think about all of it, I get tears welling up. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant, but I think I just love her so much that it hurts to see her in pain. I guess mama's are made to be so soft.

worship to help lead you into God's presence

2006-11-25T17:37:00.000-08:00

I wasn't sure what to post about this week, and I haven't a whole lotta time to say what I'm gonna say, but here it goes.

I'm one of those people that when I sit down to be still before God, I can physically relax pretty easily, as I'm six months pregnant and training up a little girl of 18 months at the same time. It is comforting to take time to sit still for an hour or so while Naomi is absorbed in her stuffed animals, blocks, or books. My mind, on the other hand, is still a high-speed motor racing along to catch up with the rest of me and getting ahead by making mental to-do lists. Needless to say, quieting my mind to hear God's voice nears impossibility.

I have found a way to make the transition easier. Although it is recommended by many to "fast" from entertainment, noise, and culture periodically, I find certain types of worship music just the remedy for a mind tempted to distraction by these things. One of the most helpful groups I have found that lead me into God's presence with their worship is Enter the Worship Circle. A mostly acoustic style of worship music, this band is not your ordinary worship. They use many types of hand drums and percussion instruments to add a world-music kind of flair to their songs. There are both male and female voices, some calm and reflective, others passionate and jubilant. I love how they put many of the Psalms into their own words, adding music that will neither put me to sleep nor distract me from seeking God.

If you have trouble quieting yourself in God's presence--or if you get too quiet and tend to fall asleep--try Enter the Worship Circle to help focus your mind on God's wonderful love and mercy. They have a myspace page and a website at www.entertheworshipcircle.com. They have several CDs available and have even begun a new Chair & Microphone series featuring just one voice accompanied by one instrument--very simple yet powerful worship.

Herbal Remedy Teas

2006-11-11T18:13:00.000-08:00

Here's a totally different topic for my blog, but it's something that I've been researching and trying to learn more about lately: medicinal uses for herbs. I'm going to post a few recipes I found that might be useful to anyone out there reading. Some are for kids, so if you aren't a parent yet, be sure to note them anyway, since you may have kids someday. Enjoy!

To make sun tea:
Fill a jar 1/4 full with dried herbs. Fill it with water, and set the jar in the sun for 6 or more hours. Strain the tea; add lemon and honey to taste!
To make regular tea:
1 oz. of dried herbs for 2 cups of water. Pour boiling water over the herbs and steep 15 minutes. Strain and add lemon/honey to taste.

Here are some useful herbs that you can use in these recipes:
Lemon Balm: It's very mild and safe for the whole family. Useful for colds, cough, fever, whining/crying in children. It makes you sweat to help break a fever.
Chamomile: This is a very mild tea useful for indigestion & stomach aches.
Echinacea: A natural antibiotic useful for bacterial infections, fever, colds, teething.
Licorice: It's great for sore throats, laryngitis, congestion, poor digestion, low energy, and a calming effect in children (do not drink if pregnant).
Raspberry Leaf: This is a widely used herb for women. I drink it daily as a pregnant woman, because it is useful for toning the uterus and preparing it for childbirth. It is also useful for women experiencing painful menstruation.
Plaintain: This tea can be used for kidney and bladder infections.

Other useful herbal tea recipes:
Tummy Ache Tea: 1 tsp. lemon balm, 1/4 tsp. ginger, 2 tsp. chamomile steeped in boiling water.
Breathe Freely Tea: 1 tsp. mullein leaves and root, 1 tsp. elder, 1 tsp. wild cherry bark, and 1/2 tsp. licorice root to 1 1/2 c. boiling water.
Children's Happy Tea: Use for restlessness, insomnia, crying, colic, teething, & sadness. 1 tsp. lemon balm & 1/2 tsp. chamomile in 1 c. boiling water. Strain & sweeten. Serve with gentleness and prayer.

Hopefully, this will be useful! I haven't tried all of these, so if one works really well for you, please share the results!

Family shots

2006-11-09T14:24:00.000-08:00

Some recent family photos. In no particular order: our car loaded up for the Colorado 2006 trip, jake and naomi doing some hiking, and me and naomi at Great Sand Dunes Nat'l Park. See Jake's blog for more great CO photos.

Quiet in the Presence of My King

2006-10-30T18:58:00.000-08:00

Carve me a seat

in the wall of Your room

and there I will sit,

tucked away listening

to whitewater melodies

of a tongue sharp

and sweet like honey.

I could sit here content

never to utter another sound

but if you would permit

me to sing,

there is a sweet song welling,

a simple chorus of

uncompromising devotion

to my gentle King.

thoughts on a herbert poem

2006-10-26T09:39:00.000-07:00

The Altar, a poem by George Herbert (1633)

A broken altar, Lord, thy servant rears,

Made of a heart, and cemented with tears:

Whole parts are as thy hand did frame;

No workman's tool has touched the same.

A heart alone

Is such a stone,

As nothing but

Thy power doth cut.

Wherefore each part

Of my hard heart

Meets in this frame,

To praise thy Name.

That, if I chance to hold my peace,

These stones to praise thee may not cease.

Oh, let thy blessed SACRIFICE be mine,

And sanctify this ALTAR to be thine.

Our hearts, before they are changed by God are hearts of stone, hardened by sin, rebellion, separation from God, and immersion in an empty world. But when we surrender ourselves to God, hard hearts, souls, body, emotions, and thoughts, He transforms us. Ezekiel 36:25-28 says, "Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put my Spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes, and you will keep my judgments and do them...you shall be my people, and I will be your God."

When God exchanges our hard hearts for softer ones, we become more vulnerable to hurt and pain, but we no longer have to build up walls of our false security to protect ourselves, because God is our Rock and Fortress who covers and protects us. His Spirit is within us, pointing us to obedience, holiness, freedom, and praise for our Father!

If we don't give praise to God, everything inside will want to explode until we cry out in worship. We were made to worship God, and when we cease doing this, something within us burns to do what we are called to do, and we cannot be satisfied until it is done. We must cry out to God to purify our hearts and tune them to sing His praise no matter what.

God is awesome and amazing, full of mercy, compassion, love, and gentleness! He wants to see us changed and softened and free of the world's burdens that weigh us down and harden us.

why is there a big empty space?

2006-08-08T18:07:00.000-07:00

hmm...just checking

earlier than expected

2006-08-08T17:58:00.000-07:00

I went this evening for a visit to the doctor to have THE ultrasound, the one that would tell me my estimated due date based on the baby's current size. Yep, there is only one baby and his/her due date is February 25! Wow, nearly a month earlier than what I was expecting. That would make me over 11 weeks pregnant already (9 weeks of actually being pregant; yeah, i know, it's weird how they measure that). I pretty excited even though it's sooner than I thought, because what's a month in the whole scheme of things. Naomi's gonna have an awesome bud to play with, and Jake and I will not have forgotten what it's like to care for a newborn. I'm really praying for an awesome pregnancy and delivery, and so far it's been great. I've only had the regular fatigue, but hey, I'm almost through the first trimester, so that should be easing up soon! Then I only had about 3 weeks of nausea, but no sickness!! Amen! Thank you Jesus! Thankfully, I didn't get too sick with Naomi either. So, it boils down to...I'm gonna be mama x2 in about 6 1/2 months. It's going to go so quickly, I know. Being pregnant is such an amazing thing, and I'm so excited to have my baby belly again! It's so fun to know there's a living human inside of there moving and sleeping and eating and doing other fetal type things. Pray that everything would turn out well and that we'd have a healthy baby (that loves to sleep)! Thanks!

Big Sister

2006-07-28T14:41:00.000-07:00

So I just found out that Naomi's going to be a big sister! Jake and I are going to have a second baby next spring sometime, so we're pretty excited. I had been figuring for a couple of weeks that I was pregnant, because I had so many telltale signs: nausea, fatigue, lotsa peeing, food aversions, cravings for meat, hungry all the time, thirstiness, and bloating (yeah, it sounds real fun, huh?). Actually, being pregnant's pretty cool...your body just KNOWS what to do even before you know what's happening.

At first, when I had my suspicions, I was pretty worried. I prayed that God would change my heart and make me ready and help me have a good attitude about having another baby sooner than I thought was ideal. I was thinking 3 years apart, but 2 years is really pretty normal. Now, I'm super excited and would have been kinda disappointed if the test turned out negative (and wondering what the heck was going on in my body if not baby-making).

I guess God prepares us for whatever He has in store for us. It's so weird; Jake pointed out to me the other night that new changes often prompt disappointment in me at first, but then I ususally end up pretty excited in just a short time. It's weird. Guess I should just give into the fact that life is full of unexpectedness and that I should greet it all with more positive attitude. I'm very black and white and too often see the black before the white. I'm learning...

up, up, and away

2006-06-29T12:56:00.000-07:00

sooo, naomi commenced her lifetime as an upright person a few nights ago. tuesday, june 26th, she took her first, all-by-herself steps over to me. it was about 3 feet in all, but she's trying to lengthen that each day. oh, all the new training and supervision she'll need now. i'm a little nervous for when she gets it down pat, but i'm sure it'll be fun! she's pretty ho-hum about it all, while i'm cheering her on and clapping. guess it's just a normal part of life--nobody cheers me on when i get up and walk across the room; i s'pose she doesn't need fanfare either. it's still pretty cool, though!

What are you seeking?

2006-06-24T17:34:00.000-07:00

You rarely meet a person in life that says he or she is seeking misery. Most people want to find happiness and fulfillment in life; this is not a bad thing. A lot of people avoid trying to find their fulfillment in God, because they think He requires too much of them, that He would make them give up all the things they think bring them happiness and meaning, that being a Christian--or follower of Jesus--means no fun.

But check out all these cool things about Jesus in the Bible: He is anointed with the oil of gladness above all His companions; He came that we could be abundantly joyful; He calls us His friends if we follow Him; He came to set the prisoners free, heal the sick, and raise the dead; He came so that we could live and not die! Jesus is the most glad, joyful person that ever lived, and yet He knew what His end would be: torture, suffering, pain, rejection, and death for a whole bunch of people who hated Him.

So back to the idea that God requires too much work from us people. All He requires is this: that we die. I don't mean that He wants us to kill ourselves, but we must completely stop in our tracks, turn from our route of rebellion that leads to destruction, and begin following Jesus. If we truly fall in love with the One who taught us what it means to love: to lay down His life for His friends, then to stop doing all the things that destroy us is not so agonizing or disappointing. As we trust in Jesus, we change our mind about those things, and the feelings will follow. When we throw ourselves completely at the mercy of the Father and decide--choose--to follow Him and seek Him forever, then He takes our heart of stone away and gives a soft heart, a heart of flesh, ready to love abundantly everyone around us and God Himself.

Following Jesus is the most exciting, adventurous, wonderful, spontaneous, consuming, passionate lifestyle that ever has and ever will exist. It's more fun than going out partying every weekend, than dancing the night away in the clubs, than taking off and driving cross-country, than anything you could think, do, or imagine. If you've never know a person that felt this way about Jesus, you haven't met anyone totally radical, sold-out for Him. I'm still working on it in myself, but it's surely my life goal to be passionate for and all-consumed with Him. I'm wild about my husband and crazy for my baby girl, but there's something even more fulfilling and and life-consuming about chasing after the One who made me and died for me so that I could live forever!

I know longer have any desire to do all the bad, self-and-other-destructive things I used to do--none! I know those things are wrong, not just because I might hurt myself or another person, but because they steal glory and attention and honor away from the Beautiful Creator.

pictures, pictures

2006-06-24T17:27:00.000-07:00

Here we have Naomi post-bath, Naomi just-woke-up-and-made-a-new-friend, and Naomi peeking-out-the-door-at-daddy. Check out the curls! Unfortunately (or fortunately...time will tell), she inherited her mama's frizzy, curly hair.

out of the mouths of babes...

2006-05-24T10:00:00.000-07:00

yeah, yeah, i know everyone just wants to see pix of nay-nay, but i just haven't had time to upload them to the computer and am waiting on some from my folks to put up here. anyway, our babycakes is starting to make intelligible (barely) words! her first word is, in english, "what's this?" but she pronounces it "whaths" complete with a spattering, drooly tongue. she also has added "baby," "uh-oh," and "picture" to her vast vocabulary. she calls jake and me both dada, so i don't know what's up there.

but for now, everything is "whaths?" accompanied by a finger pointing to the object in question. my new job is to name everything for her many, many times a day. it's cute, though, i like to see her curiosity and excitement to learn.

btw, she knows a couple of baby sign language phrases, too, that have come in pretty useful: "all done" and "more." very helpful during mealtimes

and, as always, she's the most beautiful, pretty flower in the land! she gets called "gerber baby" pretty often! if only those folks could see the little temper tantrums our pretty flower throws when her way is DENIED! oooh! yeah, we're working on curbing those.

being chill and chillin'

2006-05-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

i read a lot...i'm almost addicted to books, but i know i could quit if i wanted (yeah, it sounds like a typical addict in denial, but i'm serious). i love to read, and i think it's a good thing. naomi's favorite toys are her books and her blocks--oh, and her babies, ya know, stuffed animals. so, lately, i've been reading a lot of books on being like Jesus, thinking like Jesus, loving like Jesus, etc. I guess you get it that I want to be like Jesus; duh, I'm a Christian, which means "little Christ." I follow Him; that's my life. Well, something that keeps popping up in these books, which seems to go along with many of the Bible verses that pop out at me lately, is the peace and joy and freedom that surrounded and filled Jesus.

Jesus was a wanderer and a chill guy. He walked everywhere and just hung out with anyone who would talk to Him. He spent time lounging at tables eating meals with the low class and the high class. He spent time on mountaintops chilling out with God when He needed a break. He had a motley crew of men and women that followed Him around everywhere. There were fishermen, tax collectors, revolutionaries, prostitutes, and praying women. I'm sure if they hung out so much, they probably joked around, told stories, prayed together, laughed together, cried together, and so on. When I think about it, it sounds a lot like what when on in the Jesus People movement of the 60's and 70's.

Sometimes I get into this works-based mode of trying to earn God's favor and love. I feel like if I'm not gritting my teeth in prayer and wailing and laying prostrate on the floor for 3 hours groaning and sobbing before God at 2 a.m., and if I'm not fasting one weekend a month, and if i'm not grabbing every person i pass to preach to, then i'm not being a good christian and, therefore, out of God's favor. i know i've missed the point when i start feeling condemned and discouraged with life.

ecclesiastes says that there is a time of war and a time of peace. yeah, there are times when the Spirit of God comes upon me with a burden to cry out in prayer for those i love who don't know God. i pray, and often cry during these prayer times, until i feel release. when i think about the fate of those who have not heard the gospel and don't know Jesus, i feel burdened, so i pray. and Jesus even said to his disciples that sometimes prayer and fasting needs to precede a healing or casting out of a demon. there is time for spiritual warfare, but there is also plenty of time to be at peace.

God has a peace that surpasses all understanding (philippians). i don't think he really gets uptight as much as we think, or at least as much as we do. Jesus tells us to chill out with God, to abide in God so God will abide in us. Somewhere in Jeremiah (i can't remember where now), it says that God knows we are made of dust, so He will not stay angry with us forever. we do a lot of stupid things that could really irk God and set Him off on a rampage against all people, but God is slow to anger and quick to show love and mercy.

Jesus told his disciples that when they left a town that would not hear their message, to just shake the dust off their feet and let the peace of God return to their own hearts. when people reject us or offend us, we don't have to get uptight and dwell on it. forgive, shake it off, and let God's peace reign. i know i need this advice. i want to be full of peace, joy, and thankfulness...oh, yeah, and love!!

long time, no post

2006-05-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

yeah, the internet i usually use has been down, so i rarely get a chance to post. i read a really good book recently called, the importance of being foolish: how to think like Jesus. it was good stuff and shows how the wisdom of God is so contrary to the wisdom of the world. most of the world seeks security, pleasure, and power, according to the author, but we who love God should seek Him above all else and serve others before our ourselves. i won't say too much more on it. of course, as in every book, i don't totally agree with everything the author writes, but it's worth the time.

more pictures soon! naomi turns 1 on sunday, so i'll have to update you on her!

a response to becky

2006-04-03T14:05:00.000-07:00

Hey Becky--and anyone else reading. Great questions! I'll attempt to answer them the best I can, using the best source I can, the Bible.

Becky's first question (see her comments under the "are you for real" post) dealt with the negativity of the statement that we all deserve hell, we all deserve punishment for offending God. She wanted to know why we should even try to be good if we all deserve punishment anyway.

Romans 3:10-18 states the condition of all men (except Jesus, of course):

As it is written: “ There is none righteous, no, not one; There is none who understands; There is none who seeks after God. They have all turned aside; They have together become unprofitable; There is none who does good, no, not one.” “ Their throat is an open tomb; With their tongues they have practiced deceit”; “ The poison of asps is under their lips”; “ Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness.” “ Their feet are swift to shed blood; Destruction and misery are in their ways; And the way of peace they have not known.” “ There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

Later, Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11:

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

And even Jesus, in Matthew 19:17, said, "No one is good but One, that is, God." Jesus, even though he is perfect and is God, deferred to his Father as the only one who is good.

So what does all this lead up to? People suck. It doesn't matter how much good we do and how little we sin, without Jesus we would melt in the presence of the perfect, holy, and just God. Think of it in this analogy. Say you were lined up along the edge of the grand canyon with a bunch of other people and you all had to jump across. How far do you think you could make it? How far could the world record holder for the triple long jump make it? How far could your great grandma make it? Some may make it further across than others, but everyone will hit the ground at the same speed and die. It's the same with God. You may be better than the mass murderers and rapists and mean bullies and pathological liars out there, and you may be worse than Mother Teresa, but without Jesus coming into your heart and being Lord of your life, you will never make it to heaven. If you've decided to follow him though, the Bible says that he gives you the Holy Spirit as a deposit guaranteeing your eternal life in heaven. But Jesus says that YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN in order to enter heaven. (See Gospel of John.)

BUT THERE'S HOPE!! Jesus was the once and for all atoning sacrifice for our sins. He deletes our sins when we trust in him and repent for our rebellion against God and repent for living for ourselves rather than for God. Yeah, we may sin occasionally after that, but Jesus living inside us gives us the power to overcome! We are more than conquerors through Jesus (Romans 8:36-37, I think). God's forgiveness of our sins is conditional on our repentant heart. That's why Jesus is the New Covenant. Covenants are put in place by God. People have a part (repent and believe) and God has a part (forgiveness of our sins and eternal life).

As far as the Lordship thing. Jesus is Lord over all creation. It is in using our free will that we relinquish our lives to him. Even after we do this, we still have free will, but it is up to us to conform our will to God's. Romans 12:2 says that we are not to conform to the world but be transformed. Our old nature must die when we are born again. Every time the temptation to sin arises, we must CHOOSE not to sin and obey Jesus. If we have Jesus inside of our hearts, he gives us the strenth to overcome and gain the victory. If you are struggling with a sin issue like bitterness or fornication, etc, give it to Jesus. Resist to the point of shedding blood. There is no temptation that will overtake you except that which is common to all people, and God will ALWAYS provide a way out faithfully (2 Corinthians 10;14). We still must choose daily to follow Jesus. This is submitting our will to God's. But we must submit in ALL things, not just the obvious.

I'll address the children issue later. I've gotta feed Naomi! If you have more questions, lemme know! Read Gospel of John and the epistles of Paul for lotsa good stuff on this! In fact, read your Bible daily, it's awesome!

Mmm

2006-03-30T12:18:00.000-08:00

Here's Naomi after a yummy breakfast. Actually, this is a picture from a couple of months ago, but she looks pretty similar. Note the rolls on her legs at the bottom of the photo. Soon, they will be gone, because baby girl started crawling this week! At almost 11 months old, she can crawl (and try to get into all the things she's been eyeballing for almost a year). I think since she's learned this skill, she's forgotten some others we've taughter her--like how not to whine when she doesn't get her way. :0)

baby trials

2006-03-28T12:35:00.000-08:00

just in case you want to be a parent and were wondering if there was a book that best explained how to train and raise a child...let me tell you there is no such thing. before naomi simone was born, her daddy and i read several child training books that covered everything from the newborn days of getting baby to nurse on a schedule and sleep through the night to attitude control of toddlers. there is soooo much information out there, and we read both secular and christian books (mostly christian). just before she was born, our church did a small group for couples on child training, and we got so much good insight and wisdom into this wild frontier of parenting. then came the test...naomi simone was born and placed in our care and custody by God. freak out time? well, occasionally i did, but i also prayed a lot...and reread a lot of the books i read before naomi was born.

a few of these books (especially those by christian authors) said that if you are consistent and thorough, your child will overcome any training obstacle within 2-3 times of you training and correcting them appropriately, 4 if they are stronger willed (oh yeah, ALL kids have strong wills--it's our job as parents to break that will so that our kids will become obedient, submissive, and joyful). right. naomi tests boundaries daily. it's more like a two steps forward, one back. occasionally it feels like one forward, three back, but when i look closely, i can see where she has made much progress.

she knows what "no" means now! and she knows not to grab necklaces or glasses. usually she's good about not grabbing our plates or our food, but lately she's human garbage disposal and wants to eat anything that crosses her path--sometimes she'll even make a path to it! she sleeps through the night and has since she was a month and a half old. she nurses really well and eats on a consistent schedule. she has learned to fall asleep without fussing during her naptimes, and she doesn't whine when i leave the room (well, usually). all of these things and more we had to teach her.

naomi is a baby and doesn't know what is best for her; her daddy and i do. sometimes, yeah, we don't know what's best, but we seek wisdom from veteran parents, our parents, the bible, and God--who gives wisdom liberally to all who ask in faith. naomi trusts us and loves us. she is more joyful when we set boundaries for her. she is learning to obey, and she loves to see us smiling at her often and showering her with kisses, hugs, giggles, songs, cuddles, clapping, and love. we set boundaries and there are consequences for crossing them, but we are careful to spend tons of time just enjoying her and showing her our approval and love for her.

i don't know much about being a mom. sometimes i fret over everything; am i doing what's best for her--i don't want a scared child but i also don't want to raise a whiner that nobody likes. but i realized, i can't control how naomi responds, but i can do what God says because i love her; then i have to give the rest into his hands and trust that he will bring the fruit.

a family is like a covenant. there is naomi, her daddy, and me...but there is also Jesus. we promise to care for naomi and give her all she needs as a child, and she participates in the family and obeys her parents, and God promises to take care of all of us and we agree to submit to his order. he is ultimately in control, and knowing that takes a huge load off of my shoulders and sets me free to be a mama that doesn't have to know everything but can still be a good mama.

another snowy night in oconomowoc

2006-03-05T19:44:00.000-08:00

now that it's march in oconomowoc, wisconsin, every time it snows i wonder if it will be the last snow of the season. in my heart, i'm always hoping that maybe spring will come sooner than in years past and that it'll be a milder, less schizophrenic spring than usual. it's so silly, because this will be only my 4th spring here (if you count 2003 when i arrived here the 1st of april) in wisconsin, and people have lived here and further north for years and years. i had virginia for 23 years of my life, so i can't really complain.

i was kinda dumb before winter came, because i complained about how hot it was during the summer. and then when it was still in the 80s in october, i didn't like it and put fans all over me 24-7. never again! i will not shoo away the spring or summer next time, but i will savor every moment of it, because winter will come and steal it away every time. and winter is from like late october until april or may, so half the year is either chilly or frozen.

anyway, did you see that i had a comment from a non-spam source??? yeah! sure, they didn't like my opinions and beliefs, but, hey, better someone negative than no one at all. at least someone read me for once. that's pretty cool, and it was someone who's blog is all in german. too bad i don't remember any of my german.

so they criticized my blog on being joyful and pitied my daughter that i should raise her to be joyful and thankful always. yes, poor little naomi, that she gets to have her mama with her all day to teach her and love her and comfort her and take joy in her, to give her hugs and kisses and yummy meals--yeah, i'd pity any baby girl that had to endure all that rather than go to a chaotic day-care center where she'd get way less attention and love. but he said that i was being medieval. but weren't the middle ages also called the dark age--that seems the opposite of joyful to me. anyway, maybe i am weird or old-fashioned, but i think i'll stick with raising my kids to be joyful and thankful and a blessing to others rather than teaching them that whining, complaining, bitterness, and selfishness is ok.

in the little things

2006-02-06T13:20:00.000-08:00

ya know, i used to always get disappointed when life didn't seem to be going the way i wanted it to. even if i felt like i was doing what i wanted to be doing or was supposed to be doing with my life, somehow i felt cheated, like i didn't have as much as i could have or that my life wasn't as full as it could be. i was always wondering what i could do or change or let go of to make it better. i knew i always wanted to do something that mattered or that changed the world; it was an instinct built into me, i felt. but there was an inherent flaw in that sort of thinking: it was self-centered, that is, it was about "I" and "me" and "myself."

the way i think now, or at least the habits i try to form in my thoughts are more: what can i do to serve other, please my husband, train my child, bless God. thankfulness and cheerfulness fill my head more than discouragement, longing, and disappointment.

the old way of thinking is like Eve's, you know from Eden. she was focused on the one thing she was not allowed to have instead of being thankful for all the things she was given. so now, when i do laundry or wash the dishes or change a poopy diaper, i am joyful in the midst of it, because i know i'm fulfilling my purpose as a wife and mom and servant of the living God. i could get sad thinking about all the traveling i once did and the jobs i once worked now that i'm home most days with a baby. but instead, i rejoice, knowing that my life is not my own and that i have place my faith and trust in Jesus to mold it and use it for his purposes.

when i became a christian, i died to myself. my old ways of thinking, feeling, acting, and speaking had to go in order to make room for God to live in me. my body is his home, and he can't tolerate that old junk being in his holy presence. now, i do make mistakes and fall into those old ways of thinking, but i just repent and change. that easy.

i want my and my family's life to be full of joy, so i sow joy. whatever you sow, you reap. if you sow criticism, rejection, complaining/whiny talk or thoughts, that's what you'll reap in life. reap joy and giving and see how much you joy and fulfillment you'll receive in return!

are you for real?

2006-02-03T20:08:00.000-08:00

last night at our youth meeting, 724 (named after Matthew 7:24...look it up if you don't know it), our pastor michael talked about "authentic christianity." it was an awesome message for the teens and young adults in our group. it is an awesome message for anyone to hear who claims to be a christian. it's not up on our 724 website yet, but here's the site to listen to past messages from 724...they're all good. my husband did some of them, too! http://www.cornerstoneworld.net/lakecountry/724/words.html

so anyway, it's so sad to see so many people who take on the name "christian" in this nation who seem no different than any worldly person you might encounter. michael gave statistics about kids from christian youth groups who went to college. all of them were drinking in their first year while still underage, and most of them were sleeping around, and some of them had a ridiculously high amount of sexual partners in their first year of college. it's not colleges and universities to blame here; it's people making stupid choices by turning their backs on God and throwing themselves into the world...all the while calling themselves christians. yeah, i'm guilty of it too. i can be pretty selfish sometimes and make decisions without wisdom. i get lost in my own thought world so often and forget about the rest of the world while i'm there. sometimes i read books rather than pray, or i don't speak up and witness to others when the opportunity arises. i get mad at God when things don't go according to how i think they should. it sounds all pretty normal and typical, but God is way beyond normal and beyond our expectations--he deserves more.

my husband's reading a book called foxe's book of martyrs, which goes into detail about all these different martyrs of the christian faith from the beginnings of christianity until modern times. people were tortured beyond imagination for the name of Jesus and many, many died horrible deaths. people have been crucified, boiled in oil, sawn in half, eaten by lions, burned in the fire, beheaded, electrocuted, hanged, etc. for the name of Jesus. they believed in jesus, meaning they placed their life in his hands and died to themselves. they trusted in him and in his promise of salvation.

what is this salvation he promises? the bible says that there is no one who is good, no one who seeks God or righteousness, not one. every person ever born, except Jesus, has gone the way of the world and has been corrupt. starting with adam and eve, people have decided that they know better than God what is best for their lives. the first people thought that God didn't have their best interests in mind when he told them not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. well, they did, rebelling against the creator of the universe and giver of all life. because of their sin, they could no longer be in the presence of God, who is perfect, holy, just, and righteous, or they would die, and they could no longer eat from the tree of life which gave them eternal life. because of our rebellion, we deserve punishment. though God is loving and forgiving, he is also just and must punish evil.

we all deserve hell, a punishment, because we have all offended God. it doesn't matter how "good" of a person you or society thinks you are. everyone is guilty of offending God and deserves punishment. but because God is loving and compassionate and wants us to be restored to him and to living for eternity, he provided a way out of this punishment. of course, we've all heard about Jesus dying for our sins on the cross. many people even say they believe this. some of those may even actually believe that a man, born of God, came to earth and died on a cross, literally, for our sins. and even still, some may believe that Jesus is God. so you say you believe, but is it just in your head or in your heart?

Jesus said that a person must be born again in order to enter God's kingdom. it's not just a term some religious fanatics came up with; Jesus said it, and he's God, remember. We've all been born from our mothers, we've been born of water--we were surrounded in water in our mother's belly. but Jesus said we have to be born of Spirit also in order to get to heaven. God is Spirit, the bible says, so we have to be born of God. in order to be born of God, we must die to the world. that doesn't mean we kill ourselves, but it means we have to put away our old ways that are of the world and not of God: every sin, bad attitude, unforgiveness, rebellion, cursing, gossiping--anything that separates us from God. when we do this and surrender our lives to Jesus for him to control (make him Lord), then we no longer get to decide what we do with our lives--Jesus is Lord and master and commander and ruler of our bodies, minds, etc.

but it's not a bad thing, because we get life through Jesus, not eternally, but now! he gives us the grace to be full of life and joy and peace and love, even when things suck--because the christian life is hard, but it's the only one that leads to God. the rest of the paths go to that place of punishment. we all deserve to go there, even those of us who are Christians, but God promises forgiveness and eternal life to those who repent, turn away from, their rebellion and turn to Jesus and trust in him.

Jesus wants it all--our lives, our hearts, our thoughts, and our actions. sometimes we hold back; i know i do, but i've gotta let it all go and give it all to him. i think he can take care of things way better than i can.

it doesn't matter if someone has hurt me or offended me or wronged me or robbed me; i am still accountable before God for how I have obeyed or rebelled against him. yeah, the person who hurt others is also accountable. but maybe they find Jesus and they don't. he or she can be with God when they die, but those who didn't forgive them and didn't serve God will still have to face hell. it's a hard thing to accept, the bible, but it's from God, and it's the truth.

i could go to church every sunday--everyday for that matter--and may pray every night to God, but if i had never surrendered my life to Jesus, i would get the punishment we all deserve when i died, which could be any time. we are not guaranteed a long life on earth. thankfully, a few years ago i chose to follow Jesus and not serve myself.

this is a long post and with a lot of hard words to accept. i know it will probably offend a lot of you who read this, which is no one since i have 0 comments for every post i've made, so then i don't have to worry. :)

Me and Fam

2006-01-05T16:46:00.000-08:00

Some great pics: Me & Jake in the Rockies on our honeymoon July 2004. Then a couple of great Naomi (my homey) pictures!

why pray?

2005-12-28T20:13:00.000-08:00

it's a good question to ask. i know i used to pray all the time--and still occasionally do--even before i was born again without thinking about why i prayed or if i expected a response. i know often i just demanded and wanted a response from God without ever making sure i was asking him correctly--ya know, with a pure heart and clean conscience and right motivation--or believing that he heard me and would answer me. there's a lot in the bible about prayer, or talking to God. take the psalms, for instance. they were written by david, asaph, moses, and others to God. and they were songs. that's right, they sang their hearts out to God. in lamentations, jeremiah (we think) tells us to pour out our hearts like water to God. how else can we pour our hearts out except in song. songs do not have to be happy always; see psalm 88, one of the most discouraging songs i've ever read. but some are so ecstactic about the awesomeness of God and his power, mercy, love, righteousness, holiness, and wonder that i smile or cry or say "that's right" when i read them. david was a real man. he screwed up sometimes, but he loved God and included God in every part of his life. he sang songs while being chased by enemies, while people sought to kill him, while celebrating, while weeping, while repenting and asking forgiveness, while feeling spiritually dry and empty. we are real people and can take an example from david and sing out, cry out, shout out, dance out, and whisper out to God as we pour out our hearts to him. God does not want us to chant some religious mantra that is not the cry of our hearts; he wants us to be real with him. if we are angry, bitter, excited, scared, worried, elated, numb, depressed, or rejected...we can and should go to God and pour out our hearts to him. what good does it do to hold it in and put on a happy face for God. we can be honest and then repent for any sin in our hearts, minds, or attitudes and ask God for the strength to be joyful in the midst of trials and desert times. prayer time should be an intimate time with God. if we can trust him to pour out our hearts to him and ask him to make our hearts right with him, then he can trust us enough to reveal himself to us in Jesus...he can and will speak to us in words, dreams, visions, conscience, etc. so, why pray? because we have a living God who gives life to all who trust in Jesus and we should desire to know him and his love above all else. as you hang out with God more and more, you'll know him more and be more like him. if your faith is waning, go hang out with Jesus. he'll speak to you and show you how real he is. he will change your life forever. if you really know him, you won't be like everyone else, but like Jesus. God wants us to come to him. Jesus told us to abide in him...if we love him, we'll obey and do just that. instead of complaining, whining, doing useless things, spacing out, gossiping, watching tv, listening to the same ol' depressing music, and so on....go hang out with the creator of the universe and see if your life begins to have more purpose and meaning. empty yourself to him and he will fill you up.

midnight snack

2005-12-12T21:49:00.000-08:00

it's not midnight just yet, but close enough. i'm really tired and have been here doing work for a little extra money for a few hours. hubby's here too working really hard, and we're both really tired and spacey and fueled by caffeine. baby's sleeping soundly. poor girl's got teeth coming in and boy is she not happy about it. i miss my smiley, laughy girl. her daddy gets her to laughing pretty well, though, so she's still pretty high on the cuteness level. i should really get some recent pix up of her. the last one are from the yesteryears of autumn...now it's dead winter, cold and bitter. seeing as how no one reads this blog, it's ok that this is the world's most boring post written by a little mama who should be in bed......think she's headed there now.

Naomi at 5 Months

2005-11-16T11:34:00.000-08:00

To the right is me and Naomi Simone at the tip of the "thumb" of Wisconsin. There's a funny story about this photo. For those of you who are botanists, you will notice the pretty yellow plants surrounding us are actually venomous organisms called POISON IVY! Yep, I got covered, but little Naomi escaped unharmed. Silly us. Here, she is helping me to build my upper arm strength as I lift all 21 pounds of her up in the air. To the left is the beautiful, smiling, pretty flower herself doing "tummy time!"

Little Nay-Nay

2005-11-12T12:23:00.000-08:00

This is little Naomi Simone at one week old! She's 6 months now, so she looks completely different. I'll have to update the photos soon.

another friday afternoon

2005-11-11T13:30:00.000-08:00

It's another friday afternoon, almost two months later. So, yeah, i don't get on this blog often, though I'd really like to use it more. This will be a really short post, since Naomi, my baby girl, is about to wake up from her nap for eating time. She's really a lot of fun. I never really realized how awesome being a mom could be. Everyone says it's the best "job" in the world, but then those same women go and work other jobs, so they don't really get to do their favorite thing in the world. I love being at home with Naomi! I used to think it was demeaning to a woman to make her stay home and waste her brain on a home and kids. Boy was I wrong!! It's not demeaning; it's one of the toughest jobs out there! And you've gotta be quick and wise and creative to raise up a child. You've gotta be founded solidly in God to raise up a woman or man of God. You've gotta be learning all the time, paying attention all the time, dying to yourself all the time, and seeking the wisdom of God all the time. Moreover, I'm learning humility, joy, selflessness, gentleness, patience, and compassion. I think, as a woman, I'm created to be a mother. God's given me gifts and talents that I never knew I had before Naomi came along. But what's even more fun, and challenging, is to be a wife. I love Jake so much. He's a great dad, but also a wonderful husband. In about 18 years or so, Naomi will probably move out and later get married. If we have others, they will too. Then, eventually, it will be just me and Jake and Jesus. We've gotta make sure we are always in love so that when it's just us again, we will be close and still on our honeymoon!!

So, that's a lot really fast, but I gotta run! I'm sure so many people know all this already, but it always needs to be said.

friday afternoon

2005-07-22T14:25:00.000-07:00

so, this is my first posting to my first blog. i'm spending a lot of time setting up this blog, because computers frustrate me and, even though i'm frustrated, i still want everything to be just right on this website. i've never understood computers, how we could program them to have minds of their own and decide to do thing contrary to what the user commands it to do. funny. i have kind of a bittersweet relationship with computers. i'm not really mechanically inclined, but for some reason i think i can make them do what i want through a series of trial and error. usually i end up more vexed and have to ask for help. ah, help. such a hard thing to ask for, but, despite what you may think, a simple thing that many are more than willing to give. so, my name keeps popping up as jess, which it is, but i didn't want that to show up for the world to see. just my username, schmetterling79. i must remain discreet, you know. well, more meaningful stuff later.